Since the last post, I’ve moved out of the house, filed for divorce and moved into a new apartment with the love of my life. We’ll call him Bubs. I briefly touched on this change in my last post. How do I know that he is the love of my life? Because I’ve loved him for a long time. We met at Space Camp when we were teenagers. We had a long distance relationship and I was an idiot who was 17…. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend the love he had for me and distance did not make it any easier. After graduating high school, he went to college in Florida, where I would later reconnect with him over spring break 2004.
I moved to Florida a month later. It was not easy to be away from him. We got married in the summer of 2005 and things went south the summer of 2006, and that’s when we split and I moved back home to Ohio. Long story short, I should have stayed and at least tried to make things work. We both should have been way more open and honest with each other, but neither of us had any good examples of what marriage is and/or could be.
Fast-forward 15 years later. It’s 2021. We are both ending marriages for a mix of reasons each. Bubs had been back home at his mom’s place and he found a collar that belonged to our late dog, Madison. 10/10 the best girl. I like to think that she planned this, somehow, from across the Rainbow Bridge. Both of us were in a bad place at just the right time. He messaged me on FaceBook and that was that, really. A few weeks later, we met in Chicago for a long weekend and the world I missed collided with the one I was reluctantly occupying. My time apart from Bubs might have never even happened; it all fell away when I hugged him again at O’Hare. His hug was the same, his smell was the same and his kisses still light my soul on fire.
I forgot that I could feel love like this, this intensely. He was the first person, outside of family, to which I said “I love you”. He would have been my first kiss, had I not totally chickened out the second year that we attended camp together… I had planned to kiss him goodbye and I was too afraid when the moment presented itself. What an idiot I was!!! Though, had I kissed him before leaving camp that year, I would have probably moved to Florida the minute we both graduated, when he went off to college.
Bubs and Squish, 4-ever ❤